Saturday, May 4, 2019

Today Is A Significant Day

I have been retired since December 31, 2011. After retiring, I spent a good deal of an initial annuity payment on getting a commercial driver license, a CDL, that enabled me to drive a "big rig," something I wanted to do since I was a kid in high school and knew what they were. Since then (February 2012) I have taken a few jobs from time to time to help my financial condition, which has not been good for a private reason.

I also read a lot. In the past year or so, my attention and attraction has been to books written by people who are in what society might call "unusual" situations: quitting a "stable" job, selling everything, buying a recreational vehicle, and hitting the road, working when needed to fund more miles on the road; retiring and taking up a 'job' totally unrelated to work done during a 'normal' work life, like what I did (I was in aviation for almost 40 years and have done nothing related to flying nor wanted to); or being part of a corporate downsizing and either finding another career "with a future," as one writer put it, or pursuing a long-held desire, again, like I did.

I am fortunate to have earned an annuity payment that is higher than the normal retiree plus I am on Social Security, which provides me a monthly check that is also larger than many because of the income I had while working. The point of doing what I did all along, the goal of working hard and 'climbing the ladder' was to get to that point. I worked hard, moved when I needed to, and did what I had to advance as high as my skill and ability could take me. It worked. The downside, of course, is the payment for all that was two failed marriages, six children, from most of whom I am estranged, and a sense that tomorrow is as known and predictable as today was yesterday.

I probably chose the authors I did because of projection; I did not want to be "that guy" who vegetated and died soon after retirement. I was the other guy, the one who wanted, needed, to justify my own angst by saying to myself, 'See? Others do it, too." so, therefore, it must not be Bad.

I find myself having to go back to the workforce to pay down some of the debt I have incurred. Above all else, I truly want to have a retirement that means enjoying what I do, not just "not working." I really do not want to go back to work and the decision to do so has been difficult. I am wise enough not to pursue anything "with a future" - I do not want to fill the shoes of another person who would like to do it longer term than me - and am aware that whatever I take home in payment has to be worth the trouble I endure. I am no longer doing something to advance or improve. Now, it is all about money; while I am doing that, the money has to compensate.

So if you are one of those who sold everything and hit the road in an RV and/or have taken the lifestyle of what is called a "workamper," you are a kindred spirit. I am down with what you have done and do. I am a bit envious and hope one day to be able to stop "working" and enter full-time retirement again. Until then, I do what I have to to make payments I have to make.

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