Friday, April 8, 2016

A Place for Thoughts and Phrases

It wasn't supposed to end this way.

He sat on the couch, staring blankly out the window onto the cold, wet morning. Life is supposed to be, well, not easy, sure, but easier. Fun.

Not this.

The beginning was so hopeful. It was fun. But that seemed so long ago, so far in the past as to make him wonder if it was ever real or if it was just wishful thinking. The weeks since were a muddled mess of chaotic memories, mind's-eye flashes, and glumly sitting on the couch, just like now.

It was pretty clear. He overstayed his welcome. There was no pleasure in the thought; just reality. It felt like a divorce, but one cannot be divorced from your children. Of course children grow up and older. They have children of their own. The rules change. Their rules, not your rules anymore.

Deal with it, he thought. Yeah, that's easy, isn't it? Just deal with it. Like saying no to drugs. Or putting your seatbelt on every time. Or waiting for the Walk signal at the corner. Easy, right? No.

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My place is just a place. It is not warm, though it is heated. It is just a place. I could leave here tomorrow and it would only have been a place I lived for a very long time. A little history, fewer memories. No anchor.

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How does one detach from the negatives in this life? Lord knows we are tested and given many opportunities, but what about the next step? What does success look like? I do not know.

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